Flowers at the Funeral
Gifts for Who?
“Humble House, Glorious Dwelling” by Myra Alibrando
Click play for 99-second on eye technology for your listening pleasure and love of nature.
What Do We Really Want?
There always seems to be an internal push and pull inside us. None of us know everything, so when we do our best, we question ourselves. Very normal.
We want success. We want money. We want love. We want to live somewhere else. We want to be taller, skinnier, younger, older, more talented, better-looking, and more.
Deathbed Value Change
Funny thing is, though, on deathbeds, almost no one takes comfort in the property they own or the nice clothes at home that will be donated somewhere.
Of course, on the deathbed and even old age, many turn their thoughts to beyond the grave and ponder God, but I tell you, life is all about relationship.
All About Relationship
Nothing living that God ever made lives alone.
Some animals live a solitary life but are dependent on plant life or the living things they attack to eat. We need so many things God has provided but most importantly, relationships.
Not everyone loves us back. But when we truly care, when we truly love, there is something inside that if more full. Our life seems to have more meaning when we love others than when others love us and we are the ones who love no one.
God Himself, never intended any of us to live apart from a relationship with Him. Of course, if you tell a non-believer you talk to God, they may smile or suggest you see a doctor - especially if you tell them God answers back.
When I Did Funerals
Last week, I mentioned to a friend, how I preached Sundays from 1999 to 2006 at a senior home. Naturally, many died and often the families requested I do the honors of the eulogy and overseeing the funeral service.
Since my audience includes many Americans and Filipinos, I will mention America has its entitlements and if you are poor enough, states will usually cover your costs to stay in a nursing home or senior care place. No such thing in the Philippines. Filipinos have almost entirely rejected the idea of senior homes and insist on parents, aunts, and uncles, all living with them til they die. That is the culture and I greatly approve.
At the funerals I did at Twilight Haven in Fresno, CA, most people attending were folks I never saw before. They did not visit the deceased for the years they lived so alone in the nursing home. Typically, at the church, the elderly women outnumbered the men 4 to 1. Most of the children also did not visit except maybe Mother's Day and even less on Christmas. It was a big deal for the seniors because they talked about being lonely to me and also their excitement when they did get visits. Most complained how they did not get visited by their kids.
Before the funeral service, I would generally meet the closest family members and ask stories about the deceased when they were younger. In exchange, I would tell stories the family about their mother or old relative and how she interacted with me and others, the things she enjoyed.
At the actual service, they was usually many flowers at the front. The flowers represented how many celebrated the life now gone from this world. They really seemed to honor and love the person, even though they were rarely or never visited.
It kind of broke my heart to see such an outpouring of affection and love for someone who felt mostly abandoned.
At nearly every funeral service I officiated, I would pause . . . look around the room and then at the flowers and say,
"Wow. What beautiful flowers. Thank you for your contributions in honor of _____. I also want to strongly encourage you, if there is anyone in this room who you love and honor, please, please, buy them flowers while they can smell them."
Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act. Proverbs 3:27
Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Romans 12:10
When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality. Romans 12:13
Have a great week and make an effort to encourage someone while they can smell the flowers, even if they are young.
Dear Sam,
Thank you for sharing your heartfelt message about the importance of relationships and showing love to others while they can still appreciate it. I agree wholeheartedly with your sentiments and believe that we should cherish those we love and honor them with gestures of appreciation, such as buying them flowers.
Your words have inspired me to make more of an effort to cultivate meaningful relationships and show love to those around me. I want to make sure that the people I care about feel valued and appreciated in my life.
As a Christian, I realize that God calls us to love one another and show hospitality to those in need. I will strive to live out these teachings in my daily interactions with others, spreading love and kindness wherever I go.
Thank you for writing this article. 🌸💕