Humor or Healing?

Patched or Restored?

“Isla Reyna” by Myra Alibrando, commissioned by Keith Thompson

This week’s Nature Narration: Every Species

Pain and Jokes are Pals

The greatest comedians always have the edge of inner pain. Pain is a great motivator of humor. Joking and comedy is a much greater outlet for pain, than bitterness and depression. Solomon said (Proverbs 17:22) “A cheerful heart is good medicine . . . ” In the same verse he noted “. . . but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”

Another favorite saying I’ve quoted for years is

“For success you need three bones: A wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.”

Laughter

I love to laugh and many times in my life it has completely changed my mood. There has got to be something wrong with anyone who doesn’t enjoy laughing. Of course, there are different spirits of laughter; one can be mean or even sadistic. Then there are children laughing constantly. An article in Psychology Today said the average 4-year-old laughs 300 times a day and the average adult only 4 times a day. I laugh way more than 4 but 300 seems a little high for even a small child. But definitely, there is a huge gap between the constant giggling of children versus the serious normalcy of adults.

Because I like to laugh, most of my life I have made jokes. If it succeeds, I can even create a happier environment making laughter around me.

Flavors of Humor

My parents separated the first time when I was 6, reconciled, then split again at 8 finally divorcing at 9. In 1962 divorce was rare. I lied and would tell friends my dad was on a business trip when they asked. I was hurting inside and laughing was always a big help.

By my teen years in New Jersey, sarcasm and mean jokes were common between friends. American humor enjoys victims and suggestive innuendos whereas Filipino humor is much kinder, along the lines of 1950s American TV.

I Thought It Was Funny

The thing is, I have messed up many relationships with humor, especially with people I didn’t know so well. In California, sarcasm and making fun of a person you just met is not a form of being friendly, as it was in New Jersey. I lost potential friendships. Also, at church I would say things kind of mean as a joke that was rightfully offensive. I can regret it. I can apologize. I can say the person is too sensitive. But I can never take it back or remove from my history or the relationship.

We can also do this in family relationships and marriage. Sure, we can relax, but we never need to mock those we love. We never need to repeatedly bring up the flaws of a person and laugh. They may laugh, but we may be wounding them. Is it worth it?

After being so impressed by the respect culture of the Philippines, not only toward me, and elders, but witnessing teens addressing each other “yes sir” or “yes ma’am” in English or their own language; this made me curious how a whole country can make a majority of respectfulness. I had no problem surrendering jokes for kindness. Honestly, this is a little bit of heaven for me. Being kind instead of funny turned out to be proof of my own healing. I have slipped a few times in the Philippines, making a mean joke, but not for years thankfully.

Painkillers Do Not Cure

Joy is different from laughter, and I will always enjoy laughter. Humor, jokes, and laughing can be a true painkiller, but painkillers wear off. Painkillers are not cures. God’s quest for me has been healing with inner joy, peace, gratitude and overflowing contentment. Yeah, give me plenty of that, Lord.

I still enjoy laughing with my family and friends in a bonding way, but when the fun is done, I deeply desire that their hearts are full and they have peace to their core. I believe that is God’s desire for all of us.

Have a great week.

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